It’s been a very long time since I posted anything on this blog, but the sad passing of Paul Tanner necessitates a written tribute to one of the legends of Friday Night Football, and the original instigator of the blog in its former guise, i.e. ‘Spizz’s Tour of Germany’. (Incidentally, Paul was an incredible writer – it was his trade, I believe).

I feel slightly fraudulent trying to do justice to Paul, as compared to luminaries such Ian Gough, Alan Morgan, Sam Dargan, Danny Woodier and – of course – Simon Gas himself, I only knew him for a relatively short time. But what follows is nevertheless heartfelt, and comprises my clearest and fondest memories of Paul during the time I knew him.

From what I have heard from the chaps who have been playing on a Friday night since the mid-1990s, Paul version 1.0 was a powerhouse box-to-box midfielder, difficult to knock off the ball, and possessed of a blistering strike that often had goalkeepers scrabbling as the ball careered past them.

By the time I made his acquaintance in 2007 his powers on the field may have waned, but it became clear very quickly that he was one of the brightest stars in Simon’s galaxy of Memorable Characters. Here are some of my favourite memories of Paul…

Who’s the banker in the black (and white pinstriped suit)?

One of the traits of someone with bipolar disorder is that the highs are stratospheric. Never was this clearer than the occasion when Paul had, apparently, enjoyed a high powered business meeting during the afternoon, and then tipped up at Coram Fields clad in a black suit with white pinstripes, which he teamed with a trapper hat. He then proceeded to take to the field  – still wearing what looked like a bespoke whistle – and bawl and scream around the pitch for an hour, parked chiefly in the middle of the park and stomping on anyone who came near him in a pair of (black) brogues. Almost certainly his best game at Coram Fields.

Caught (without) shorts

Another Coram Fields memory – Paul trundled off to retrieve the ball with his team winning by two or three goals. As he shuffled back toward the touchline to take a throw, his shorts slipped inexorably down to this ankles, although Paul seemed blithely unconcerned. As his teammates urged him to hitch his kit back up before taking the throw, Mick chimed in with the deathless reminder that “this game’s not won yet”.

A committed United fan

I think Paul supported a clutch of football teams, including Manchester United. When I had the temerity to question his allegiance to the Red Devils one night in the Old Fountain’s Head, he gripped my windpipe for what seemed like minutes as he angrily assured him his Cockney Red credentials were impeccable.

We happy few…

I’ve saved my favourite memory for last. The date: 15^th June 2012. The place: Old Street. The occasion: a regular Friday Night Football at the Finsbury Leisure Centre, as well as the evening that England took on Sweden during the group stage of Euro 2012 in Kyiv.

For those of you who have joined us since the move to Coram Fields, there was one large communal changing room at the Finsbury Leisure Centre, so when we got ready it was usually alongside thirty-odd other blokes.

That evening, in a fit of patriotic pique, Paul leapt onto the wooden benches as he was getting changed and proceeded to deliver a note and word perfect renditon of the St Crispin’s Day speech from Shakespeare’s Henry Vth, much to the amazement of every one there, both those who knew him and those that didn’t. A suitably inspired England went on to come back from a 2-1 deficit to beat the Swedes 3-2 that evening, their first competitive win against that country.  Coincidence? I think not.

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“Inclusive” is a very commonly used word in the first quarter of this twenty-first century, but, for my money, you’d be hard pushed to find a better example of inclusivity than Simon’s Friday Night Football. We have had players of all ages, abilities, creeds and nationalities over the years, and Paul’s time playing with everyone is arguably the best single example of this, as he played and – crucially – enjoyed playing for many years, well after his peak playing days were at an end.

And perhaps the words of that speech from Shakespeare, delivered perfectly by Paul a little over a decade ago, best exemplify the espirit de corps of our little Friday night kickabout…

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.

 Sleep well, Mr Tanner. You’ll be much missed.