Another match report

Here is another match report. Your cup positively runneth over.

Nineteen players last Friday, which always makes picking the teams something of a challenge, but what is life if not a series of puzzles to solve?

Your teams:

Yellows: Morgan, Simon Gas, Bogdan, me, Danny, David, Nick, Steve, Alan and Joe

Blues: Kanat, Ed, Dermot, Markus, Andrea, Johnnie, Simon Ink, Yev, Oleksandr

The Blues roared into a two goal lead early on, thanks to a combination of dopey defending and cool finishing. A defensive farrago lead to David unluckily handling the ball after it careered off the crossbar following Danny’s initial save – the ball hit David amidships and pinged up in the air, catching his hand which was parallel to his head – and Oleksandr then took a rather unusual penalty, creeping up the pitch like a hungry cat following its quarry and coolly passing the ball just to the side of the goalkeeper.

Markus soon made it 2-0; despite the fact the Yellow team had the extra man, no fewer than five Yellow players seemed unable to pick him up and he dutifully nodded home a decent cross from about six yards out.

Cue Alan turning on the style and pulling off a convincing impression of Marco van Basten circa 1988 to level the scores. His first goal was an impressive piece of control followed by an adroit turn and left foot volley from about 15 yards out into the bottom corner, while the equaliser was an unerring finish into the side of the goal after some good work from Nick to prompt the ball forward.

The chronology of the final two goals is a bit blurry, but I believe that the Blues retook the lead after a rasping shot from Oleks from about twenty yards out fizzed beyond David in goals and into the bottom corner, while the other goalscorer for the Yellows was Morgan.

That was it for the scoring, but not the drama. First Oleks very nearly won it for the Yellows by inadvertently nudging a cross onto his own post, before an extraordinary passage of play saw Joe somehow deny Markus another goal. Steve – the goalkeeper at this stage – was forced into a mistake following a tight backpass from David and as the ball squirted loose Markus seemed certain to win it for the Blues. Cue Joe seemingly growing five new limbs and extending one of them to get in the way of the goalbound shot to force it over the bar to safety. Incredible scenes.

Final score: Yellows 3 – Blues 3

Decent turnout at the pub, which is always good to see.

Until Friday, when we go again (insert strong arm emoji here, he tells his social media team).

PS Lee Mason is a cunt.